The Paper Rustler (Annoyingis folderemii)

Is it really possible I got the same portly gentleman as yesterday next to me? This species of LIRR commuter inhabits middle seats, and its main characteristic is wild rustling of the WSJ along with flailing elbows while attempting to read, fold, and re-fold the paper. This species is also known for using more than its allotted arm space, sighing loudly and often without apparent cause, and getting off at Jamaica.