Daytrippers (commuterus irregularis)

Daytrippers on the LIRR, God love 'em.  Crowd evenly placed on the platform and pushing through the doorway....two high-box city broads heading home from their splurge shopping trip to Manhattan are screaming that 'these people are just CRAZY' as they were carried along the wave of unwashed humanity into the train car. We really need to print instructions for daytrippers on rush hour etiquette.  Or at least provide counseling after departure for those that have PTSD from the boarding process.

Just a Lonely Jew Riding The Rails...

"MWJF seeks wandering tribe of Hebrews for walks on the beach, stimulating conversation, latkes and apples-and-honey.". I've sunk pretty low, I know, but its Rosh Hashannah and I’m riding the LIRR and working and no, I will probably not be home by sundown either.  Not only am I not celebrating, but I have no Jews to celebrate with. In the meantime, I'm thinking of sneaking into someone's house and swiping some brisket and kugel. Maybe they will think its Elijah, wrong holiday I know but work with me here....

The Off-Peak Phenomenon (also called "I should have left later")

Off-Peak train on a Friday afternoon, mass [transit] chaos. The inevitable arguing with the conductor over step-up fares commences only disrupted by people who expect you to slide over instead of getting up, construction workers with the bag-o-beers on the floor creating snaking puddles of water that require deft footwork, Painters/Plasterers Union guys covered in spackle dust. Where's a Taser when you need one?