Holy Moley

I'm not sure what classification this one goes in....perhaps just as a scientific curiousity or maybe a sideshow. Anyhow, I chose wisely today and I'm on an end-cap of a 3-seater with *ahem* extremely big-boned woman on the window. She's fully decked out in Pepto-Bismol pink and the one wrist that is exposed shows several too-small gold bracelets struggling to remain clasped while being separated by individual rolls of fat. After we hit the tunnel she fell asleep in such record time one would suspect narcolepsy. It is then that, as her head shifted towards me, I observed her opposite cheek sported an Uncle Buck-sized facial mole, adorned with 4 long hairs. Yes, it was so big I could count them even out of the corner of my eye because, you know, its not polite to stare. As she took it down for her first REM cycle, her mouth flopped open and the intake of each breath caused the 4 mole hairs to be gently bent inwards. Each exhale made them flip the other way, waving madly but in a tight, almost choreographed formation....sort of like the follicular equivalent of the Electric Slide. Actually, I just realized I am staring now....ah well, manners can't take precedence over the serious journalistic reporting I'm doing here anyway.  The public has to know these things...