Space Invaders

Yeah, you read me right but I'm not talking about the vintage 80's video game. I'm talking about the living (mouth)breathing type of Space Invader. On a train car, that manifests itself in several ways. One common type of Space Invader is the inevitable Leaner. These creatures typically get on at Farmingdale just when you think you escaped a middle-seatmate and squeeze in the middle of your triple. Even though they seem to have some leeway on the starboard side, they lean on you anyway.  You are forced to wage a silent and unacknowledged battle for elbow room. By switching your travel mug to your center arm and taking frequent sips of coffee, the constant friction of your jacket sleeve can deplete their life force and cause them to retreat back to their allotted space. Another well-known type of space invader is the Lap-Bagger. These are the people who rest their laptop bags on their laps upon being seated and promptly fall into an immediate coma. Only then do you realize that the diameter of their bag exceeds their lap size and they have hangage over each side. These creatures also tend to leave their shoulder straps dangling to fwap maddeningly against your kneecap. Gentle nudging of the hangage of their bag, closely timed with the swaying of the train so you aren't caught, is the way to combat this creature. Of course you may earn the ire of the passenger on the other side who now has even more excess hangage, but you can feel proud at your bold move in striking first, and be sure that guy is probably blogging about you and the fact that you ruined his day anyway.